


no dreams can hurt when i'm in your arms

by asideofourown



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Don't copy to another site, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Nightmares, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-16
Updated: 2020-01-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:46:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22272052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asideofourown/pseuds/asideofourown
Summary: Crowley stared at him and tried to reconcile the sweet, loving angel in front of him and the hurt expression he had seen on Aziraphale’s face in his dream. He sniffled, and then began to cry— shuddery, wretched sobs that shook his body and hollowed out his chest.“Oh, my dear,” Aziraphale murmured, and then opened his arms.  "Come here, love."When Crowley’s tears had subsided into wet hiccups, Aziraphale murmured, “Do you want to talk about it, or would you prefer to forget about it?”Crowley curled into Aziraphale’s side a little more, and Aziraphale’s arm gently gathered him a little closer.  After a long moment, Crowley said hesitantly, “I was dreaming about—”  He took a deep, shuddery breath, clinging a little closer.“I wasn’t myself,” Crowley murmured, and squeezed his eyes shut for just a moment before looking up at Aziraphale.  “Angel, am I too mean to you?"[Crowley has a nightmare]
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 40
Kudos: 523





	no dreams can hurt when i'm in your arms

**Author's Note:**

> HI SO
> 
> Back in the 90s a script was written for a potential gomens movie that never got made (thank someone), and the script has been circulating on tumblr for the last few days. I read it and HOO BOY, so here's my spite fic. Really all you need to know is that movie!crowley is pretty awful >:( This fic is inspired by [this](https://lovesickcrowley.tumblr.com/post/190240075661/no-i-will-not-read-the-1992-screenplay-script) great post by [lovesickcrowley](https://lovesickcrowley.tumblr.com), and it seemed like writing about it would be a nice way to work out my indignation :)
> 
> (Any recognizable quotations are likely borrowed from the script of the movie, and good god you couldn't pay me to claim to own them)
> 
> Enjoy!

_“You are so… stupid,” Crowley said coldly, giving Aziraphale a critical look._

_Aziraphale stood nervously behind him, wringing his hands.Crowley wrinkled his nose,_ **_something_ ** _churning in his stomach.Disgust?Must be disgust._

 _“You don’t_ ** _deserve_** _to live,” Crowley added, and the disgust in his gut intensified but it was— he was—_ _He turned, the world kind of blurry and shimmery around him, and had just enough time to see the hurt expression on Aziraphale’s face before his vision went black_ and his eyes snapped open.

Crowley gasped, sitting up abruptly in bed, trembling.

“Dearheart?” a familiar voice said, sounding concerned.Crowley slowly turned, the sheets soft against his bare chest, to find Aziraphale sitting in bed next to him.The angel was dressed in a cardigan, no bow tie in sight, and he had a book open in his lap and little reading glasses perched on his nose and a concerned expression on his face.

Crowley blinked, disoriented.He felt as though he had double vision, seeing two Aziraphales in front of him— the one gazing at him in gentle concern, sitting beside him in bed, and the one he had been cruelly _berating_ for being gullible.Berating... in his dream.

“Aziraphale?” Crowley said, and his voice was shaky and hoarse.He cleared his throat.

Aziraphale tentatively reached out a hand for one of Crowley’s where it was tangled in the sheets, fingers curled vice-like into the fabric.Crowley stared down at their hands, at the gold band on his ring finger.“I’m here, darling,” Aziraphale said gently, setting his book aside.“You were tossing and turning an awful lot.Were you having a nightmare?”

Crowley stared at him and tried to reconcile the sweet, loving angel in front of him and the hurt expression he had seen on Aziraphale’s face in his dream. _You don’t deserve to live,_ his own voice echoed from some horrible place within him. Cruel words directed to hurt the person he loved most in the world. Crowley sniffled, and then began to cry— shuddery, wretched sobs that shook his body and hollowed out his chest.

“Oh, my dear,” Aziraphale murmured, and then opened his arms. "Come here, love."Crowley fell into his embrace and Aziraphale held him close, rubbing his back and making comforting noises as Crowley cried into his shoulder.

When Crowley’s tears had subsided into wet hiccups, Aziraphale murmured, “Do you want to talk about it, dearheart, or would you prefer to forget about it?”

Crowley curled into Aziraphale’s side a little more, and Aziraphale’s arm gently gathered him a little closer.After a long moment, Crowley said hesitantly, “I was dreaming about… about you.And.And me.Ngh, uh, but not as we are?Angel, I—”He took a deep, shuddery breath, clinging a little closer.Aziraphale leaned down and gave him a quick kiss on the top of the head.

“I wasn’t myself,” Crowley murmured, and squeezed his eyes shut for just a moment before looking up at Aziraphale.“Angel, am I too mean to you?I know we argue, sometimes, but am I… do you wish I wasn’t around?I… I’m not nice, but I don’t want to be _mean._ Not to you. Am I not nice enough to you?”

He winced slightly, but somehow his pride didn’t matter as much with the taste of those horrible, cruel words still on his tongue. _You’re so stupid, you don’t deserve to live._ He hadn’t said them, he _knew_ he hadn’t, but for them to show up in a dream… did that mean he subconsciously meant them?Did that mean he subconsciously thought his angel, his love, his husband, was stupid and worthless?Or was it his worse nature as a demon trying to come through?Crowley shuddered at the thought.

Aziraphale gently kissed his cheek.“Crowley,” he said seriously.“We have our differences, of course that’s true, but there will _never_ come a time when I don’t want you in my life.We’ve known each other for six thousand years, dearest, we can weather a little bickering.”

“In— in my dream,” Crowley said, stumbling over his words in an effort to make Aziraphale understand.“I was being awful to you!I… I told you you were, were too stupid to live.”He cringed, anticipating an argument on the horizon, but to his surprise Aziraphale just smiled down at him.

“Now, I know that’s not true,” he said.“I know you don’t think that.”

Crowley bit his lip, still feeling a little sick to his stomach.“But what if I do, subconsciously?”

“Crowley,” Aziraphale said reasonably, gently brushing his fingers through Crowley’s hair.“We’ve argued plenty over the millennia, that’s true.Don’t you think, if you subconsciously really hated me, that it would have come out before now?In 44, or 1478, or 1862?I don’t think we would have gotten married, love, if you’ve been hiding a seething loathing of me for centuries.”

Crowley took a deep breath, looked away.He felt like he wasn’t explaining himself well enough, hadn’t managed to impress upon Aziraphale how awful his dream-self had been.He felt like Aziraphale wasn’t taking him seriously.Somehow, Aziraphale read that in his eyes (damn— bless?— his lack of sunglasses), and he sobered.

“Crowley, I’m sorry,” he said quietly, and Crowley wordlessly leaned against him in silent forgiveness.“I just… I cannot imagine a universe where we don’t love each other,” Aziraphale confessed.“I do love you ever so much, dearest, and I know you feel the same.So a bad dream that says otherwise?It just doesn’t seem, well.Realistic.”

Crowley smiled a little reluctantly.“That’s true,”he admitted.“It was— it was pretty bad, angel.Like a caricature of a demon, maybe!Saying things I wouldn’t _ever_ say to you.Probably not anyone.”He wrinkled his nose.“Actually, maybe Hastur.”

Aziraphale laughed.Crowley sat up a little so they were face to face, and kissed him quickly.“Thanks, angel,” he said quietly, gazing at his husband.“I… I’m glad I have you to wake up to.”

Aziraphale cupped his face with one hand and smiled fondly.“So am I, darling,” he said.“I’m honored to be here for you when you need me.”

Crowley had to snort at that, and Aziraphale’s smile turned a little mischievous.“Alright?” he asked, his tone still light, but there was something soft and caring in his eyes.

Crowley nodded.He took one last deep breath, exhaled, and the sick, anxious, disgusted feeling in his stomach finally went away.“Angel,” he said quietly, shifting a little in bed to lie back.“I know you don’t like sleep as much as me, but can we—”

“Of course, my dear,” Aziraphale replied.With care he set aside his book and his reading glasses, snapping his fingers to turn off the lamp he had been using to read before lying down next to Crowley.Crowley inched towards his warmth, and smiled into Aziraphale’s shoulder when Aziraphale reached for him and pulled him close.

“I love you, Crowley,” Aziraphale whispered, and even in the dimness of the room Crowley could see his smile.

“I love you too,” he replied, and then curled back up, his face buried in Aziraphale’s curls, and fell back asleep with his angel in his arms.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, I really hope you enjoyed! I'm [here](https://asideofourown.tumblr.com/) if that's something you're into


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